Satire // Politics

Wancock Goes Postal On Burley

Hours after the government brought in another nonsensical rule that nobody will understand or be able to follow, Wancock has appeared to blame the public for requesting too many tests on the fact that the testing capacity has been overwhelmed in recent days.

Zante / Zakynthos

Oh, Greece, where did it all go wrong? Some left-wing Greek Guardian columnist blocked me on Twitter in the spring because I questioned his tub-thumping glee that Greece was weathering the storm so well. I doubted it then and I was right to doubt it.

Central National Models Are Useless

Centralised national models for COVID-19 infections and deaths are useless for the general public. Leaking them achieves one thing only: more noise for the media outlets to peddle. More money for the newspapers, who are struggling. They serve nobody else.

Pasquinade?

A satire or lampoon, originally one displayed or delivered in a public place. Example: “he delivered a long pasquinade at the expense of my friend.”

COVID Winter

After weeks of stating clearly “no more national lockdowns” Wancock has now written in The Times to undo his own work.

Don’t Go to the Office

Today, the CBI has claimed “our offices are at risk of dying.” Good! They’ve been dying since someone made everything open plan. Open plan doesn’t work for me or other introverts.

Private Investigations

Today, the #Grauniad has alerted me to a company called Public First, which seems to have won an interesting contract to help Ofqual with PR. You might think that Ofqual need top PR at the moment, but this contract started in June. That’s right, Public First are the geniuses who completely failed to communicate the exams strategy to the public and anyone remotely involved in education. And Public First is run by cronies of the Gove-Cummings school of egregious narcissism. Watch this space!

The New Normal Is The Old Normal

“The new normal” is a phrase you will see everywhere today. It must be a contender for the 2020 phrase of the year, alongside “social distancing” of course. There is a lot of debate about what normality will look like over the next twelve months, several years or longer, and how it will be different to the old normal, whatever that was. I suggest this is the wrong argument, and a waste of time.

China

Nobody ever liked China. Even inside China. But why? They make our gadgets under conditions which would be criminal in the West. Thanks China. They make clothes that fall apart. They make toys with illegal, toxic chemicals. We buy the stuff faster than they can make it. We love China. Until we don’t.

Beside The Seaside

What does it mean to live nowhere near the sea, in the country most famous for its seaside? Bloody misery.

Covidity of Errors

I can barely bring myself to list all the COVID-19 disasters in Britain, land of the free, home of the Brave, and God’s own country. It’s not pretty. But someone must.

Station Eleven: Museum of Civilization

As part of the review for Station Eleven in 2014, I agreed to suggest a relic to put in the Museum of Civilisation. This is a concept introduced in the book. It needs no introduction, it really sort of does what it says on the tin.

Jackson Browne vs. Warren Zevon

While Jackson was brewing his own coffee in a whistling tin kettle and singing softly about rocking on the water, sister, what was Warren doing? He was singing about deceased hitmen without heads, international envoys, war in Africa, and having his dad send him lawyers, guns and money in somewhere like Damascus.

Corona Doodle Dandy

A writer who tries to stay out of politics is a writer who avoids life. Every story is political. Life is political. Avoiding the obvious risks the question: why are you avoiding stating the obvious? In trying to have no agenda, the novice writer can appear to have a worse agenda: a hidden one. Such is the writer’s life.

Why Digital Downloads Are Evil

You digging that download bro? You dig it man? Girl? Baby? Well you’ve got a shock cummin’ at ya. You paid for it, right? Oh you nicked it? Well, if you had paid for it, you actually wouldn’t own it. I know!

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About Me

Hi, I’m Paul. I podcast and write about all kinds of things but I really love satire. This is my work in progress to entertain you.

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